Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Finally, Onion News Network

What we have all been waiting for - Onion on TV!


Monday, February 18, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008

Peak Oil (Gasoline) Goes Pop

Gasoline - Sheryl Crow


Way back in the year of 2017

The sun was growing hotter

And oil was way beyond its peak

When crazy Hector Johnson broke into a refinery

And the black gold started flowing

Just like Boston tea

It was the summer of the riots

And London sat in sweltering heat

And the gangs of Mini Coopers

Took the battle to the streets

But when the creed was handed down

For no more trucks and no more cars

They threw cans of petrol through the windows at Scotland Yard

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

When the Mounties stormed the palace of the Saudi family

They held them up for ransom

Without disturbing their high tea

But their getaway was shaky

They stalled in the Riyadh streets

Cause you can't make it very far

When your tank is on empty

The final can of gasoline was loaded on a truck

And driven through the streets of Agra to the palace aquaduct

You see, all the majesty of worship that once adorned these fatal halls

Was just a target to the angry

As they blew up the Taj Mahal

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

Gary ran a market way down in Tennessee

Where all the farmers got together and talked about this great country

But when the government turned its back on farming

Man, what I hear

They dragged the pumps out of the ground

With a big vintage John Deere

I've got soldiers on my payroll

Standing guard on my front drive

Snipers on the roof poised at those

Who don't want me alive

Cause they audited my taxes

My family under threat

Cause I've got a message and a megaphone

And I'll scream it to the death

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

Gasoline

Will be free, will be free

You got the farms in Argentina

Making fuel from sugar cane

You got the bastards in Washington

Afraid of popping the greed vain

Cause the money's in the pipeline

And pipeline's running dry

And we'll be the last to recognize

Where there's shit there's always flies